


If You Can't Take the Heat

by runbravelybackward (victorienne)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Bubble Bath, Dinner, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 06:52:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/536694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victorienne/pseuds/runbravelybackward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s John and Dave’s first anniversary, and Dave is glad to finally get a chance to put together a date for a change. But things haven’t gone entirely to plan the way Dave hoped. Yet “not to plan” isn’t always a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Can't Take the Heat

**Author's Note:**

> A request for [ghostlywail](http://ghostlywail.tumblr.com/)

Your name is Dave Strider, and you've been preparing for this day for months now. It's your and John's first anniversary, and you decided to put yourself in charge of everything. John's the one who makes all the money, so he usually takes you out on dates, but you want your anniversary to be different, even if it means you have to do everything from scratch and have all the romantic ambiance of your apartment's kitchen.

As soon as you hear a key in the lock, you sprint across the room to turn off the lights and get out a book of matches. He wasn't supposed to be home this soon. You hear John set his bag down, kick his shoes off, and hang up his jacket in the closet and wait for--

"Dave?"

Taking that as your cue, you plug in the long string of white and yellow Christmas lights you hung from the ceiling. You had to take the afternoon off to intersperse a few blue and red lights in there for the sake of being cheesy, then tape the whole mess to the ceiling. As soon as he appears in the doorway, a broad grin lighting up his face, you strike a match and light the candles on the table. You borrowed an overly ornate candelabra from your sister (it was the only one without eldritch tentacles or bearded wizards on it) and bought out the best tablecloth you could find at target solely for the purpose of this anniversary dinner. This shit had better be worth it.

"Dave, this is awesome!" He looks up at the ceiling then over to the kitchen table you've gotten ready for dinner. "Is this all for our anniversary?"

"Nope. It's for Rose's bat mitzvah. Didn't you hear?"

John rolls his eyes and walks over to wrap his arms around you. You smile slightly and hug him back, relaxing for a minute before you remember that there's something else important you should be doing--that you already should have done.

"Egbert, I'm going to need you to go sit in the living room and watch TV until I tell you that you can come back in here."

He releases you from his hug and looks at you strangely. "How long is that gonna be? I want to eat soon--oh." He gives you a smug smile. "You don't know how to cook dinner, do you?"

You sigh heavily. "Yeah I do. I haven't had time; how long do you think it took to get this shit together? Too fucking long, Egbert."

"I think not having a meal to go with the mood lighting is kind of a major oversight, Dave." He grins at you, and you can't help but narrow your eyes at him.

"Just go sit your ass down on the couch and watch some shitty rom-coms Karkat forced me to rent for us. Him working at the closest video store may be the worst thing that has ever happened to my entertainment system."

But John ignores your demand entirely and kisses your cheek as he brushes past to get an apron out of the drawer. He puts on the Batman apron he insisted on buying the last time you were at a joke shop, then tosses you another apron. It's the matching Robin apron. Of course he'd make you wear that one, the asshole. As you grudgingly put the apron on, you make a mental note to hide it somewhere he'll never find it again.

"If there's anything I've learned in the last year of marriage it's that I should never leave a Strider alone in the kitchen." He glances around for some sign of what he should be doing first, but finding none, he turns back to you. "So what are we making?"

His smile is infectious, and you can't help but let your annoyance over the bullshit apron and your frustration with your own inability to get things done right dissipate. You tried so hard to make everything perfect, and left to your own devices, the fact that you failed would eat away at you, especially since it was something for John. But he just seems to always take everything in stride and pull you out of your own aggravation in these circumstances to keep on going, even more happily than you were before. Everything just seems so much brighter with him around.

But after a moment, you shake your head to refocus your attention on the task at hand. You point to a box of pasta and a couple cans of alfredo sauce on the counter. John takes a closer look at the box, then looks back at you, a mix of amusement and judgement on his face.

"We're eating penis pasta for our anniversary dinner?"

"Yup."

He looks back at the box and the cans.

"With white sauce."

A smile tugs at your lips. "Yup."

He snickers and starts gathering things to cook with.

\-------

After the meal is ready (he relegated you to tossing the salad after you failed to get the burner to light twice in a row), you shoo John toward the kitchen table. He rolls his eyes but complies. You pull out his chair for him like a proper southern gentleman and give him a kiss on the cheek before bringing the food over, relighting the candles, and turning off the kitchen light. When you sit down across from him, he's poised to begin eating and smiles across the table at you.

It's hard to believe it's your first anniversary. You never thought you'd be the kind of person to settle down, but no part of being with John has involved settling, in any sense of the word. Except, maybe, for his really shitty taste in movies. That still hasn't changed much.

You look down at the pasta and glance back up at him with a smirk. "You gonna put all those dicks in your mouth, Egbert?"

John rolls his eyes. "I know you're jealous, Dave, but try and restrain yourself."

You can't help but laugh a little at his sarcasm. You put a large forkful of pasta in your mouth and lick your lips, as exaggeratedly seductive as possible. "So jealous." John snickers, and soon, you're both laughing like nine-year-olds.

When you both calm down a bit, following a number of further innuendos and insinuations, you talk about your days and start to unwind. But you're still a little tense, hoping that the rest of what you have planned will go the way you've imagined. John probably thinks that dinner is the last of it. He's the one who always has elaborate plans and ideas for birthdays and anniversaries, but it's your turn to surprise him this year.

Once you've finished your meal, you clear the table together, and John looks at you expectantly. Unnecessarily elaborate desserts are a long-standing tradition on anniversaries for the two of you.

"Close your eyes."

He grins at you and does as you say. You walk around behind him and put your hands on his shoulders, giving him a gentle nudge forward. His slightly hesitant initial movement tells you he wasn't expecting anything more than a cake or some chocolates, but this is good. You guide him down the hall and steer him to your bathroom. You knew you'd find a use for this apartment's unnecessarily large bathtub someday.

"Keep your eyes closed." You let go of him and go around, making sure everything's in place and ready before saying, "Ok, open them."

John looks around the room, lit only by the candles you've placed around. The bathtub is full, and you've laid out fluffy towels and robes for both of you to use after you've finished.

"Dave, this is--"

"Cheesy as a fucking nacho stand. Yeah."

"Great, you mean." He closes the distance between and takes your hands in his. "It's really cute, Dave."

Kissing you quickly, he reaches out to start unbuttoning your shirt. You sigh contently and follow suit. Neither of you is too sensual in your undressing--you have plenty of time for that, and there's an unspoken understanding that the time for that is later. So since you're on the same page, as soon as you're both down to your boxers, you kiss John's nose and move quickly to drain the tub. He looks at you in confusion, but you just go to the closet and grab a plastic bottle and dump some of its contents into the tub before filling it up again. In a minute, the tub is full of water and bubbles, and John is grinning like a kid who filled three bags of candy on Halloween.

But you still have more. You pull a small bag out of the closet and pull out a few rubber ducks to toss them into the tub.

"Get your ass in there, Egbert."

"Don't think this makes up for the lack of cake, Dave." He wags his finger at you, but he's still smiling anyway.

As he gets into the tub, you quickly duck out of the bathroom to get something just outside. The plate you bring back is laden with bite-size pieces of brownie cake that should be sufficient to placate John. He reaches up to take the plate from you while you get into the tub with him, keeping the cake safely above the splashes. As soon as you've settled into the water, you take a piece of cake off the plate and hold it up to his lips.

"How is it?" you ask after he takes a bite.

Still chewing, he smiles and nods before offering you another piece.

As you open your mouth to eat it, John pulls it away just enough for you to miss and bite down on nothing.

As you narrow your eyes at him, he laughs. "Even a year later, you still fall for that!"

"At least you're only making an idiot of me in the privacy of our bathroom this time instead of in front of everyone we know."

You try to snatch the piece of cake from his hand, but as you lunge forward, he splashes you (and several candles) with water. There's no denying that your boyfriend is kind of a dick a lot of the time.

You look at him for a moment, trying to figure out what it's going to take to get that tiny piece of cake--and if it's even worth it, especially since it's probably soggy by now. But it's the principle of the thing, so you snatch his wrist and raise it until you can reach to eat it. 

John bursts into laughter and splashes you again, sending a rubber duck careening toward your chest. "Graceful, Dave."

You pluck the duck out of the water and send it on a course right back at John. "Yeah, you know it."

You pick up a piece of cake from the plate John put down on the side of the tub and hold it up next to his lips. He looks at you skeptically, knowing that you're going to try to get him back somehow. But you keep your hand steady as he slowly moves toward it. Yet, at the last second, you pull it away just a little. He follows the piece, his mouth still slightly open. As you keep leading him forward teasingly, you bite your lip at the sight of him leaning toward you with that look on his face and his mouth open and--

Fuck restraint. You pull the cake away and press your lips to his. He makes a small sound of surprise before shifting closer to you. You pull away for just a moment to put the cake down safely before wrapping your arms around him and kissing him again.

But as soon as you reach a comfortable rhythm, you feel water being dumped over your head as John moves back, laughing. You lean toward him and shake the water off like a dog, right in front of his face. He laughs and pushes your head away. You can't help but smile at how entertained and content he looks, and you lean forward again to kiss him lightly. He tangles his fingers into your hair as he tilts his head and begins to kiss you back. The movement of the water as you shift against each other heightens every sensation (as well as the frequency of being poked by rubber duck bills), and in no time, you're both climbing out of the tub and all but dragging each other to the bedroom.

When you get there, you sit down on the side of the bed together, kissing each other urgently. You run your hands down John's chest, feeling every breath as you lower him carefully to the bed. As you look down at him, he grins mischievously and pulls you on top of him. You make a surprised grunt as he flips both of you over so that his weight is pressing down against you. Reaching up, you pull John's glasses off and put them on the side table. You never wear your shades at home anymore, so you look up right into deep blue eyes for a moment before he leans down to start kissing you again.

You were already quite a bit more aroused than you thought, and when he rocks against you, you're panting and digging your nails into his back within seconds. From the way he's parting your lips with his tongue and meticulously exploring your whole mouth, it's safe to say he's just as eager as you are. You press up against him, and both of you groan as your hardened dicks rub together. You're both panting too hard to continue kissing for very long, so John rests his forehead against yours as he rocks against you slowly. You moan at the friction and run your fingers down his spine. You feel him shiver and take the opportunity to wrap your hand around the base of your dicks, holding them against each other. He groans in surprise at the sudden pressure and shifts to trail kisses down your neck. They're sloppy and desperate, but you barely even notice as you pull up hard. John cries out and ruts against you, his panting telling you just how close he is.

But you aren't going to just give it to him. You loosen your grip and trail your fingers along his length while he squirms on top of you, making needy sounds.

"Dave... Come on..."

The urgency in his voice forces you to hold back a moan before very slowly wrapping your fingers around both of your lengths. As soon as you have John's dick pressed against yours, he starts moving, and you cry out at the sensation. You struggle to keep your pace slow, but you feel yourself gradually speeding up as John pants and moans next to your ear, his head bowed against the pillow. By the time you're back to going as quickly as you can, it barely takes any time at all before you and John have reached your limits, and you keep up the friction until you're both crying out as you come.

John rolls off you before collapsing onto his back beside you. You both lie there, panting, for a moment before cleaning yourselves off with tissues. You let your thoughts of cleaning up the stuff you left in the bathroom fade as John rolls over to put his arm around you and kiss you softly. Pressing your palm to his cheek, you kiss him back until the last of the adrenaline subsides. John shifts to let you turn over and wrap an arm around his waist. It always seems like you fit together perfectly, and as you say your good-nights and I-love-yous and fall asleep in each other's arms, you don't think you could be this happy with anyone else.


End file.
